Vanessa Van Edwards: The Conversation Habit That Makes Smart People Unlikable

📅 2026-09-10 · Vanessa Van Edwards · 新集 · ▶ 影片 · 22 個學習點 · 4 題

能力讓你進房間，溫度決定人家想不想留你。把「你做什麼工作」換成一個更好的問題。

在 YouTube 播放，CC 可開英文字幕。建議先看「聽之前」，看完影片再做理解題。 到 YouTube 開啟 ↗

🎯 聽之前

Vanessa Van Edwards talks with Steven about conversation habits that make smart people hard to like: how you enter a room, how you ask, and the small signals that say "I am with you."

  • What do smart people do that reads as cold?
  • Which question does she prefer to "What do you do?"
  • How does body language get translated into a sentence you can practice?
  • Listen for advice you can test at the next conversation, not just understand.

💬 重點句 6

先讀英文，想一下意思，再點「翻譯」。按 🔊 聽一次，然後跟著唸。

  1. Competence gets you in the room. Warmth decides whether people want you to stay.
  2. Replace "What do you do?" with "What are you excited about right now?"
  3. A smart person who never asks a question is giving a lecture, not having a conversation.
  4. Nodding is not listening. Repeating one word they used is listening.
  5. Let the other person finish the triumph before you match it with yours.
  6. Leave the conversation with their name still warm in your mouth, not your own.

📚 單字 10

點卡片翻面。先猜意思再翻。

🗣️ 俚語與成語 6

break the ice 成語
to make people feel more comfortable at the start · 打破冷場
A specific question breaks the ice better than a joke.
have a chip on your shoulder 成語
to act angry or superior, as if you have something to prove · 心裡有根刺、隨時要證明自己
Correcting people in the first minute sounds like a chip on your shoulder.
steal the spotlight 成語
to take attention away from someone else · 搶走風頭
Matching their triumph too fast steals the spotlight.
read the room 成語
to notice the mood and respond to it · 看場合、讀空氣
Read the room before you add a third story about yourself.
open up 片語動詞
to start talking honestly · 敞開心胸說
People open up when the question is about excitement, not status.
it takes two to tango 諺語
a conversation needs both people · 一個巴掌拍不響、對話要兩個人
A lecture is one person. A tango takes two.

🧩 句型練習 3

讀完範例，用自己的事造一句。寫在筆記本或手機備忘錄裡，隔天回頭唸一次。

___ gets you ___. ___ decides ___.
⋯⋯讓你⋯⋯。⋯⋯決定⋯⋯。把入場和留下分開。
  • A resume gets you the interview. Curiosity decides the second meeting.
  • Fluency gets you understood. Warmth decides whether they lean in.
✍️ Split entry and welcome in a situation you know.
Replace "___" with "___."
把「⋯⋯」換成「⋯⋯」。
  • Replace "How are you?" with "What was the best part of your day?"
  • Replace "I know" with "Tell me more about that word."
✍️ Swap one question you overuse.
___ is not ___. ___ is ___.
⋯⋯不是⋯⋯。⋯⋯才是⋯⋯。
  • Waiting to speak is not listening. Using their word is listening.
  • Being right is not being interesting. Being interested is.
✍️ Correct a social habit you have been calling a virtue.

✅ 理解題 4

看完影片再作答。選一個答案會立刻顯示解釋。

  1. What decides whether people want you to stay?
  2. Which question does the lesson prefer?
  3. "Steal the spotlight" means:
  4. A real sign of listening is:

💭 用英文想一想

挑一題，用英文寫 3 到 5 句，或對著手機錄一分鐘。不用完美，說出來最重要。

  • Replace your usual opener with one question you will try this week.
  • When did you steal the spotlight without meaning to? What would waiting have looked like?
  • Describe a person who is competent and cold. What one habit would add warmth?

📎 想再往下走

這集做完如果還想繼續，這兩個方向跟內容最接近。不是必要的，學習包本身就夠用。

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